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01. Dateline NBC (Tracy Morgan/Kelly Clarkson)
"shot you a dirty look?"
"...no. a bullet through my neck."
"aaaahhhh!"
"ohhh, you liked it so you put a ring on it!"
"i guess you could say you had yourself a manwich!"
"yeeeeeah!"
"oooooh!"
02. Dov Charney (James Franco/Kings Of Leon)
"so what? what'd i say?!"
"you tell me - what'd i do so wrong?"
"give me one example of something that's sexual harrasment."
"well, you put an extra small-sized tank-top on your penis, and then referred to your penis as 'the wife beater'."
"haha yeah, that sounds like me!"
"i'm beautiful. sex is beautiful. sluts are beautiful."
"if my employees don't like it, you know what? sue me!"
03. Jizz In My Pants (John Malkovich/T.I.)
"leave this place, go back to yours. our lips first touch outside your doors. the whole night what we've got in store. whisper in my ear that you want some more...."
"it's perfectly normal; nothing wrong with me. though we're going to need a clean-up on aisle three."
"last week i saw a film. as i recall, it was a horror film."
"speeding down the street when the red lights flash. need to get away, need to make a dash."
"the next day, my alarm goes off....."
"open my window and a breeze rolls in....."
"when bruce willis was dead at the end of sixth sense....."
"i just ate a grape...."
"you say i'm premature, i just call it ecstacy. i wear a rubber at all times - it's a necessity!"
04. Kissing Family (Paul Rudd/Beyonce)
"just so you know, my parents .... they're pretty great!"
"but austin, seriously, study!"
"hey, nice to meet you. you actually hang out with this loser?"
"just so you know, i gotta borrow the truck tonight - i gotta haul a bunch of lumber!"
"haul a bunch of lumber? look at this guy, working on the weekends!"
"yeah, i know it feels like a lot. but you know something? we're vogelcheck's!"
"wow, i guess i shouldn't judge people until i know their whole story."
05. Gino's Pizza Rolls (Zac Efron/Yeah Yeah Yeah's)
"and at the top, i'm just doing like busy work?"
"excuse me?! i am your MOTHER!"
"uhh, norada, i think that line is supposed to be light."
"umm, she really slapped me!"
"i was just kind of building off of his anger."
"...i wasn't playing angry."
"i gave birth to YOOOOOU!"
"i hired her for her amazing face!"
"i think that was great! great job, you guys!"
06. Palin/Clinton Cold Open (Michael Phelps/Lil Wayne)
"i was so excited to hear that senator clinton and i would be addressing you tonight."
"and i was told i'd be addressing you alone."
"i believe that global warming is caused by man."
"and i believe that it's just god huggin' us closer!"
"senator clinton, who came so close to the whitehouse, and me, sarah palin, who is eve closer! can you believe it hillary?"
"i canNOT!"
"wearing your paegent sash and your tina fey glasses!"
"if i could change one thing, i probably should've wanted it more!"
07. Palin Rap (Josh Brolin/Adele)
"do you remember the lyrics?"
"i kind of remember them, yeah."
"his smile be creepy, but when i'm VP, all the leaders in the world gonna finally meet me!"
"tell me, tell me what you feel, eskimo's."
"super cold!"
"all the mavericks in the house, put your hands up!"
"shoot a mother humpin' moose eight days of the week!"
"yo, i'm palin and i'm out!"
08. Vincent Price's Thanksgiving Special (Jon Hamm/Coldplay)
"it's broken? SERIOUSLY?!"
"i'm a piiiirate, aaaargh!"
"get off my pirate ship or the girl diiiies!"
"and you, young man! i imagine you're dressed as some brand of homosexual!?"
09. Single Ladies (PaulRudd/Beyonce)
"i hand-picked 'em myself - these guys are pro's!"
"all the single ladies; now put your hands UP!"
"i don't know, i thought that felt really fluid."
"yeah, it felt really pure!"
"PUUURE!"
"if you liked it then you should've put a ring on it!"
"show me one thing about them that isn't perfect!"
"ENOUGH! i'm not feelin' this!"
"so you'll let them be in your video?"
"HEEELL no!"
10. Wahlberg's Confrontation (Josh Brolin/Adele)
"i've been thinking about breaking that big beautiful nose of yours."
"sure, sure, it's big and beautiful."
"amy poehler! you're pregnant - what's that all about?"
"you were in the goonies, right? i produced entourage!"
"i'm in max payne! have you seen that movie yet, donkey?"
"let's hug it out, bitch!"
mood: 
accomplished
accomplished86 people soaked a cork | soak a cork